when i feel so baaad...yeh baby, I'm a bad person actually...

sorry, this post is'nt the next part of my last post...

hufff...
yeah...
here I am,
sitting on my chair,
hugging my piyo-pretending it's Pika,
writing this...

I feel soooooo baaaaaad lately,
oh please forgive me God...
I'm not a good person right now...

I realize I'm wrong,
but I can't control myself...
when things going in the wrong direction,
I just can't stop myself...

what should I do?
I want something,
but I have to do bad things to get what I want...

I know I deserve it!
I've been waiting too long...
but
I've been too hurry,
I'm affraid of losing again...
I'm too affraid...
until suddenly I realized,
I've been pushing myself into this chaos...
I'm ruining myself...

what should I do?
somebody...what should I do?
would you fix it for me??
please...